I wanted the redemptive story of having a complication-free birth, getting to see Evy meet a baby brother that was living, having our families walk into our room and hold a baby that is pink and warm and healthy…. and I wanted to get to leave the hospital with a baby in the backseat of our car.  I specifically remember tears streaming down my cheeks as we pulled out of the hospital parking lot with baby Graham in the backseat beside me.  I had left that hospital just one year prior with no baby and a memorial service to plan. I spent SO much time envisioning how I hoped God would redeem the beginning of Graham’s story that I didn’t think about the beauty that was to come with the first few weeks, the first few weeks, the first year.

Graham is our rainbow baby but he’s so much more than that. His sweet personality is so different than Evy’s. He’s so calm and a little more reserved. He is still loud and squawks but nothing compared to Evy. Evy has a BIG personality. Graham has a calming, gentle personality…. something that our little family needed.  Sometimes I’ll glance back at him while we’re in the car and through the mirror, he smiles at me and scrunches up his nose. Sometimes he crawls over to me and just lays his head on my leg, almost like he’s just making sure I know that he loves me. It’s hard to describe what it’s like to  be his momma. It’s wonderful, redemptive and I cherish each day with him!

Baby Graham was an easy baby… another thing I never prayed for but I REALLY appreciate! I don’t worry about taking him places or traveling because he’s so chill. I do worry about his super sensitive skin that he got from me (sorry bud) and I spend a ridiculous amount of money buying him Tubby Todd cream. Ha! He’s our easiest baby to go to sleep. He’s got a smile that just melts your heart. He dances with his head and not his arms or legs. He loves music and cars and trucks and basically anything with wheels. He’s snuggly and relaxed and everything I ever hoped for in a baby boy.

I have a connection to him that is equally as wonderful as my connection to Evy but my relationship with each of them is so different. When I snuggle with Evy, I feel excited to hopefully be her go-to person as she navigates life as a big girl, then a teenager and then a grownup. When I snuggle with Graham, I just want him to love me as much as he loves me now, FOREVER! I have a soft spot in my heart for him because he’s so attached to me and I love it. I’m realizing now why mommas bawl their eyes out during mother-son dances. It’s just such a special connection. I know one day, he’ll meet some amazing girl and will love her and spend his life with her…. and I’ll cheer them on…. but one day I’ll miss these days of being his everything. Right now, I can fix anything that upsets him… anything that makes him sad. So I’m holding tight to this season because it’s fleeting and I love it.

So my baby boy is ONE and while we couldn’t have a full-blown birthday party, we did have our family come together and it was such a sweet day. I played this video from his birth and while it may be a year later, these moments bring back so much emotion for me.  Enjoy the video and a massive blog post of images from his 12th month of life!!! (And KUDOS to me for actually doing his 12 posts!!! I almost got off track back in november/december but I caught up and I’m so thankful I did! These posts are so much fun to look back on!

Ps. Thank you Jill and Ty for capturing these moments I will cherish forever!!!

He is hands-down the MESSIEST eater of the entire family!

Evy was “smellin the flowers”! They’re fake.

Evy colors everything COMPLETELY. No concern for the lines… her only concern is that EVERY inch is colored!

These cars and their bikes have saved us during this quarantine!

Evy saying after she falls over “Oh, I OK!!!!!”

Lunch at Joe and Emy’s!

Again, a MESS.

Safari Park adventure!

Real life: It’s hard to take his photos… thank goodness this is the last one!

“Graham, where’s your HEAD?” …..

Giving each other haircuts….

Unke Corey always checks her license and registration! She LOVES it!

The lake house isn’t big and so the kids have to work to get along in a tighter than normal space and sometimes…. they just don’t!

Drives like her momma….

Twinsies!

More quarantine moments….

This bounce house…. best Amazon purchase ever!

The day he discovered the piano!

Easter was so different this year but we at least tried to have our same family tradition…

The easter egg hiding was taken very seriously this year…..

Easter outtakes….

Oh my goodnessssss….

This is the best we could do!

Grammie’s birthday is the day after Graham’s!!!