I would put on a show. Looking back, it’s embarrassing….. But it explains a lot about why I’m not afraid of being in front of people as an adult. As I grew up, I sang more and more. The national anthem at high school basketball games, at weddings, at funerals, at church and at school. My high school didn’t have show choir (such a shame!) so I joined the only choir I could….. And that was the African American History Month Celebration Choir. Yup. I was the whitest one in the room…..actually, I was the only white girl in the whole group…. And guess who got the solo ….. ME! How ironic. I loved it though. I loved singing for anyone that would listen and at the age of 16, I was ready…. ready to take the big leap…ready to GO for it!!…..American Idol was coming to Richmond!!!!! I just knew this is what God had planned for my life. I was supposed to get famous, sing my heart out and He was going to use me to do amazing things! It all made perfect sense. At this time in my life, singing was what I excelled at the most! So I went for it. I got up at 5am after never being able to truly fall asleep and my mom and Michael went with me to Richmond. We waited in never ending lines for hours and hours. Finally, I had my 15 seconds in front of the judges. Now, if you watch the show…. What they don’t show you is that there are multiple hoops and rounds to go through before seeing the actual famous judges. I never got to meet them and that’s because l never made it through the first round. That’s right, I got cut. Just like that. It was over and I was heartbroken. I wasn’t a super immature 16 year old and so I held my tears in until we got to the car. I wasn’t mad at the judges…. But I was confused. I entered numerous other contests and made it to the last rounds only to be shot down at the finish line. Why? Gosh. Why couldn’t I get a break?! I knew fame wasn’t fast or easy but these were simple contests…. I just needed a sign that this was what I was supposed to do. I knew I could sing…. And I wasn’t one of those contestants that THINKS they sound amazing but really, it’s torture to hear them. Was I amazing? Probably not. But I thought I at least had enough talent to do something with my voice.
After rounds of rejection, I had an epiphany. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was wrong about all of this. Maybe my dreams of singing and performing full time were just what “I” wanted….but had nothing to do with Gods plan for me. At the time, I had no plan B. This was all I wanted and it wasn’t happening. I pouted for a while, and it took 3 years for me to finally watch American idol again!!! ….I was so bitter. But as I continued on into college, I started to see the big picture. I started to realize just how SMALL I had been thinking! Piece by piece, the puzzle started coming together. I started seeing that the Lord had a much bigger vision for my life than I had for myself! ….. But I only got to that place because I was rejected! I was rerouted by rejection and I’m so thankful. I’m now doing something that I LOVE and I can finally say that I’m so thankful for all the rejection I went through as a teenager. God has a plan… but it’s not always laid out right In front of you. There is a lot of TRUST involved. So I don’t know where you are… Or what you’re going through, but I do know that rejection doesnt mean it’s the end of a dream….. It may mean you’re just being rerouted to something bigger and better:). Happy Friday everyone!! Do something fun this weekend!!!!! Ps. This was blogged from an iPad. Excuse the massive paragraph!!