I thought I was fine.

After all, I’ve walked through loss, near-death experiences, health struggles, and the weight of running a business. 

I’ve been open about it all. 

So, I assumed that because I could talk about these hard things, I had already processed them.

But here’s what I didn’t realize: talking about pain doesn’t mean your body has healed from it.

That’s where EMDR therapy came in.

What Is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.

It’s a type of trauma therapy designed to help your brain reprocess memories that feel “stuck.” 

Sometimes, painful experiences—whether big traumas or smaller moments—don’t get filed properly in our brains. 

They keep resurfacing and triggering us, even years later.

In an EMDR session, your therapist will ask you to briefly recall a specific memory while also using a form of bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements, tapping, or buzzing paddles in each hand). 

This rhythmic back-and-forth motion helps both sides of the brain communicate—similar to what happens during REM sleep.

The result? Your brain finally understands: This is not happening anymore. I’m safe.

Why I Decided to Try EMDR

Honestly, I didn’t think I “needed” therapy.

I could talk openly about losing our son, my health battles, and the near-constant pressure of entrepreneurship. 

None of it felt like it was controlling me.

But my functional medicine doctor encouraged me to try EMDR as part of my healing journey…especially since I had been dealing with chronic inflammation and histamine issues.

What I discovered surprised me…

Even though I wasn’t actively avoiding memories, there were still pockets of unprocessed pain shaping my beliefs and impacting my body.

The Core Belief I Didn’t Know I Was Carrying

During my intake session, my therapist and I identified a repeating belief that kept surfacing in different life experiences:

“I’m broken, and no one can fix me.”

That belief showed up when I had a tumor in my hand, when we lost our son, when doctors couldn’t solve my health issues, and even when pediatricians dismissed our children’s struggles.

On the surface, I could logically say: Of course that’s not true. God is my healer. I’ve gotten help before.

But subconsciously, that lie kept replaying—and EMDR helped me finally break it apart.

What EMDR Sessions Looked Like for Me

Every EMDR therapist is different, but here’s what my experience was like.

I sat across from my therapist (who also happens to be a Christian, something that mattered deeply to me) while she asked me to focus on one specific memory. 

In my hands, I held two small buzzing paddles, alternating back and forth, left then right, as my eyes followed the gentle motion of her hand in front of me.

It felt strange at first, almost too simple to matter, but as I replayed the memory in my mind, something shifted. 

My brain began to file it differently, as if it finally understood that this was no longer happening to me. 

I wasn’t in danger anymore. I was safe.

 

Some of the memories I worked through were ones I never expected to resurface.

There was the day we said goodbye to our son—the mixture of unbearable grief and the holy sweetness of those final hours. 

There was the weight of carrying him inside me for months, knowing he wouldn’t survive, and the silent pressure that settled on me every single day.

Another memory that surprised me was sitting in a doctor’s office, nine months pregnant, listening to him casually joke about amputating part of my hand. 

He brushed it off like it was nothing, but I remember feeling terrified, wondering if I was about to lose both control and hope.

And then there was the memory that wasn’t a single moment but a slow accumulation: the crushing pressure of running a business, the belief that everything rested on my shoulders, and the toll that weight had quietly taken on me for years.

Walking back through those moments wasn’t easy, but something unexpected happened. 

Each time, I walked away feeling like a shift had happened. The memories didn’t feel as disturbing anymore. Sad, yes—but not controlling.

How EMDR Helped Me

Here’s what I noticed after EMDR:

• I feel calmer. For the first time in years, I don’t feel like I’m living in constant fight-or-flight.
• My body is healing. Stored trauma causes inflammation and stress, and I’m curious to see how my numbers change over time.
• I can tell my story differently. I can share painful moments without feeling like they’re still happening to me.

Most importantly, I feel more like myself again.

Should You Try EMDR Therapy?

If you’re reading this and thinking, “That sounds terrifying—I don’t think I could sit in a session and revisit painful things,”

I want to remind you:

You’re already living with hard things.

Sometimes choosing to step into the discomfort for a short season leads to long-term freedom.

Whether you’re carrying trauma, anxiety, or just the invisible pressure of “keeping it together” all the time, EMDR might be a tool that helps you heal in ways you didn’t think you needed.

Final Thoughts

I never imagined I’d say this, but EMDR therapy was a gift.

It helped me release lies I didn’t even know I believed. It gave me space to grieve in new ways. And it reminded me that I don’t have to carry everything alone.

If you’re curious, I encourage you to find an EMDR provider in your area and read reviews before you decide.

And if you want to hear more of my story (including the specific moments I reprocessed and what shifted for me) you can listen to the full podcast episode here:

Listen to “My EMDR Journey: The Therapy I Never Thought I’d Need” here!