Fifteen years of marriage.

It’s hard to believe those words even apply to us!

When I used to look at couples who had been married that long, I thought, “Wow, they’ve been at this a while… they must feel so grown up.” 

Now here we are… a little older, a little grayer (literally, I’ve got the white streak to prove it!), and more aware than ever that time is a gift.

This year, Michael and I decided to celebrate our 15th anniversary with a “just us” getaway. Five days in Mexico at the beautiful Impressions Moxché by Secrets. It was our first extended trip without kids in years, and it ended up being one of the most impactful experiences of our marriage.

In this podcast, I’m sharing the 10 things we’d absolutely do again, not just because they made our trip memorable, but because they helped us reconnect, dream, and refocus on what matters most.

1. Talk About “Hopes and Dreams” Before the Trip

Before we even packed our bags, we asked each other: “What are you hoping for on this trip?”

It sounds simple, but it’s powerful. 

Setting expectations through “hopes and dreams” keeps both people on the same page without it feeling like a checklist. 

For me, it meant putting boundaries around our phone use and creating space to really connect.

Michael didn’t have to delete his social media, but I chose to… and it made a world of difference!!

2. People Watch (and Enjoy It!)

When you don’t have kids climbing all over you, you actually get to notice other people. 

We laughed, talked, and simply watched life around us! From two older women dancing their hearts out on a catamaran to the guy at the pool who looked like he dipped his face in sunscreen. 

We smiled so much and it reminded me how life-giving it is to slow down and enjoy the world around you!

3. Look Back Before You Look Ahead

It took time to remember it all. Michael even pulled up old blog posts and text threads — including one from the night we launched the KJ Editing Course years ago. 

That night, our site crashed from traffic, and we still made six figures in thirty minutes. My dad came over after the webinar, and when I told him what had happened, he didn’t even believe me!!

That memory (alongside the countless others) reminded us how much life we’ve truly lived.

Workshops in our home, hundreds of photographers walking through our doors, having babies, losing a baby, building houses, and walking through both heartbreak and holy ground.

Looking back like that brought tears to my eyes. It was healing to see not just what we survived, but how God carried us through every season.

Gratitude for the past sets the stage for peace in the future, and it gave us perspective for the vision we started dreaming about next.

4. Choose Rest Over Adventure

For this trip, we chose an all-inclusive resort with no agenda. 

No excursions. No decisions. Just rest.

If you’re in a busy season give yourself permission to choose simplicity. Sometimes the biggest adventure is learning to slow down!

5. Create a 15-Year Vision

We started dreaming about the next 15 years, but instead of getting overwhelmed, we broke it down into three chunks: three 5-year chapters. 

One for our finances, one for our family, and one for how we want our lifestyle to feel.

Right now, we’re not in a “saving and stacking” season… we’re in a “make it happen” season with the school. 

It’s a stretch-us, trust-God kind of phase, and honestly, that’s okay!

Knowing the season we’re in helps us stay grounded in what matters most.

Five years from now, I picture us exploring national parks with our kids. 

Maybe in a camper, probably with lots of snacks and chaos!! 

Fifteen years from now, I just want to be able to look back and say, I was there!! I showed up. I was present through all of it.

6. Listen to Podcasts Together

One of our favorite things to do on this trip was listen to podcasts together. 

We love The Diary of a CEO (selectively…not every episode aligns with our faith), but we both enjoy how thought-provoking it is.

There’s something about sitting by the pool, sun shining, and listening to someone unpack deep ideas that gets us talking in ways we don’t usually make time for at home. 

We’d pause the episode every few minutes to say, “Wait, that’s so true for us,” or “Do you agree with that?” … and it led to some of our best conversations of the whole trip.

It reminded me that learning together doesn’t have to be through a course or a retreat. 

It can be as simple as pressing play on the same thing and being curious together!

7. Lean Into Tension (Don’t Avoid It)

Yes, we fought on our trip. And it was actually good!!

There were two specific tensions that had been quietly sitting under the surface for a while. 

You know…the kind that normally get brushed aside because someone has to make dinner, answer an email, or wrangle a toddler!

But on this trip, we had space. No kids, no interruptions, no excuses. Just two chairs by the pool, a few tears, and a lot of honesty.

It took about an hour and a half of real conversation. Time where you circle around the same thing until you finally see each other clearly again. 

We left that conversation lighter, closer, and reminded that the goal isn’t to avoid tension… it’s to walk through it together.

I’ve realized that healthy marriages aren’t tension-free…they’re tension-capable.

We even came home with a new commitment, inspired by some close friends of ours: to bring up one point of tension every single week instead of letting it pile up. 

Because if we can practice healthy conflict in the small things, we won’t need a five-day trip to unpack the big ones.

It’s not about fighting more, it’s about fighting better.

8. Name What You Cherish About Your Kids Right Now

One afternoon by the pool, we started talking about our kids. Not what they needed, not what was next on the schedule, but who they are right now.

We made a list of what we love most about each of our four kids in this season. Their quirks, their personalities, the way they’re growing into themselves. It sounds simple, but it hit me so deeply.

Evy, at eight, still clings to our words like they’re gold. She wants to talk through everything at bedtime, and those conversations are where I see her heart unfolding right in front of me. 

Graham is endlessly curious! The kind of kid who worries about how we’ll order food in Mexico because we don’t speak Spanish. 

Rhett just wants to be seen. When you get him one-on-one, he’ll talk your ear off about puzzles and big ideas. 

And little Miles, our two-year-old, is learning how to use his words. He’s just started asking us to get down on the floor and play with him.

As we talked through these things, I found myself getting choked up. 

If someone had shown me this snapshot of our life years ago, I think I would’ve worried less about the chaos and more about the beauty in the middle of it!

It was such a good reminder that parenthood isn’t just hard work…it’s holy work. The kind that refines you and roots you, all at the same time.

9. Dream About Where You’ll Go Next (as a Family)

One night over dinner, we started dreaming about all the places we want to take our kids before they’re grown…beaches, national parks and even just little road trips! 

We made a list, and it was longer than I expected. But what really hit me was how quickly those years are going to fly by. 

When you start putting trips next to ages — “Evy will be 10 here,” “Miles will be old enough for that one” — you realize you only have so many summers left before everyone’s grown and going their own way!!

It wasn’t about planning luxury vacations or bucket-list moments. It was about being intentional. About choosing experiences that will shape who our kids become and who we are as a family.

Intentional family travel doesn’t have to be extravagant. It just has to be thoughtful. 

Sometimes that’s a national park. Sometimes it’s a weekend in a camper. Either way, I want to look back and know we didn’t wait for the “perfect” time to make memories together!!

10. Do Something You Each Love — Separately

On our last night, we did something that might sound silly but ended up feeling like the perfect ending to the trip. 

I pulled out my laptop (not to work!) and finished our 2024 family yearbook, and actually ordered it that night. Meanwhile, Michael started a new Netflix series!

It sounds small, but it was such a gift. 

We were sitting side by side, each doing something that filled us up in different ways. 

For me, it was documenting memories that have been hanging over my head for months. 

For him, it was finally slowing down enough to watch something just for fun.

Sometimes connection doesn’t look like a deep conversation or shared activity. 

Sometimes it looks like quiet companionship… being near each other, at peace, doing the things that make you feel most like you!

What This Trip Taught Me

After 15 years of marriage, I realized something: connection doesn’t happen by chance.

It’s built in the small, intentional choices: deleting an app, asking a question, laughing over dinner, naming what matters.

This trip reminded me that marriage isn’t just about staying together. It’s about growing together, again and again.

If you’ve been feeling distant, distracted, or just longing for reconnection, maybe it’s time to plan your own “just us” getaway.

Not to escape your life, but to remember why you built it together in the first place.